Two Dreams

Last night I dreamt of a white dog from Africa who caused a man to murder his young wife and their unborn child. When he woke to her body the next day, he could not remember having done it and was horrified. The dog ran away and was adopted by another family. I watched it all from a distance, but when I awoke, I felt that I was the man whose weakness had been exploited.

I dreamt that the restaurant where I work was destroyed. The restaurant collapsed under the weight of the five floors above, which is where all of the employees lived. No one was killed, but we were all instantly rendered homeless and unemployed. Strangely the bombing, which was done by someone I didn't recognize but who seemed familiar to me, was a liberation of sorts. The bomber had taken so much from us all, but in his act of betrayal had freed us all of our burdens and the things holding us there. It made me wonder just how much I hold myself back in the name of advancement - both in the life and career sense. Whether it be unfortunate or not, the life of the artist is, in a way, his career.

I learned to paint life
by watching the clouds above
They merge and break up.

Violence

Perhaps I am interested in images of violence because I fear them. Is it dying that I fear, or is it not dying that scares me? .the potential of death. By recording and rerecording the images of the potentiality of death - the symbols of dying - do I confront or embrace my fear? Do I fear the symbol more than the thing? The wreckage of the bombed car is like an effigy; actually, more like the body itself. It symbolizes the destruction of the human body - it is a symbol for the potential destuction of the human body. The car is a weapon of war against an unsuspecting and civilian population. It's wreckage becomes a monument to their demise and remains as a reflection of their destroyed forms.